I Resolve To No Longer Be A Lazy Ass

Do you want to see my ah-mah-zing weight transformation from last year? You will be shocked. I know I was. Head on over to Off The Deep End for my before and after picture and a little awesomeness from me. It is kinda crazy. Even Dave was shocked.

Speaking of weight transformations, one of my bestest bloggy buddies is putting it all out there today. She is really one of the bravest people I know. Stop by Babes Rockin’ Mami and give her some love.

Look! It’s Jesus!

I know that you are dying to know what the title means, but you are not going to read about it here! I am over at It’s Blogworthy today filling in for one of my favorite Floridians, Amanda. She is all kinds of awesome. She is one of the first blog friends that I have made and an all around fabulous person. If you are looking for some great celebrity gossip make sure to check with her every Friday for her Celebrity Roundup. It’s like you are reading a gossip magazine but she tells it like it is. No bull!

Go now. And while you are there make sure to follow her. I promise you won’t be disappointed!

Visit It's Blogworthy for your daily ridiculous.

Why Yes I Randomly Buy Socks At 7:30 AM

Nope, you can’t read about my early morning sock adventure here. You need to hop on over to Off The Deep End to read about it. You know you wanna! So get to it!

Proud & Not So Proud Mommy Moments

You know how you always wish that you could be in two different places at once? Well, today I am making it happen. It’s like I am a freaking magician or something. Ok, not really but go visit me at the following places. I promise that you will not be disappointed. Make sure to bring some tissues with you to The Kir Corner.


If you don’t stop by I will totally cry…

What The What?!

Today I have the pleasure of guest posting at Masshole Mommy! Once again she is showing me up by surprising her kids with a trip to Disney! I am not that nice of a mom.

Stop by and read about just another way I love to annoy my children.

Mass Hole Mommy


5 Reasons Why Working Out Is Awesome

I was approached by one of my readers who wanted to write a guest post about exercising. She is a long time reader and an avid health buff. After reading this, I realize that I need to get my butt moving and start exercising more. No more laziness! Even though I am all about embracing your body, you still need to be healthy and feel good too! Enjoy! Please welcome Pasha Lubeck…

For most of us, working out is highest on our list of things to do and the first thing we always ignore. As a single mother, I used to procrastinate when it came to my workouts. Then one day, a most unusual person changed my view about the urgency of working out. While pigging out on rounds and rounds of vegan pizza after a particularly exhausting day, I had an epiphany in the form of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde saying “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” Now if you don’t believe Elle Woods, then probably this article from the Mayo Clinic will interest you, espousing the good stuff that comes with working out regularly.

With these words ringing in my ears and the feel of my ample love handles pushing up against my body, I decided on following a steady workout routine. The first month was far from easy. I used all the excuses in the book to justify putting off working out. But after more than a year of regular exercise, I am now a Steady (work out) Betty, because the effects are just too good. Aside from the fact that Elle Woods and the Mayo Clinic says so, here are 5 other reasons why you should make working out part of your daily regimen.

1. It keeps you in shape.

We’ve all had our unhealthy food binges. But if you work out regularly, these unhealthy binges will be a thing of the past. Even if you binge, when you work out, you take the calories you consumed and sweat it all off. It may not get you to lose weight immediately, but it will definitely maintain the shape you have right now. Want to lose the flabbage while binging? Work out more (with the supervision of your doctor and trainer)! So don’t feel bad for the occasional double bacon cheeseburger and chili fries, just make up for it with a couple more hours in the treadmill so you can keep your figure in check.

1. It can put the spark back in your life in the bedroom.

According to an article by CNN.com, a Harvard School of Public Health study of 31,000 men found that men who were physically active had a 30 percent lower risk of erectile dysfunction than those who were not. Similarly, in a study by the University of British Columbia, it was found that with 20 minutes more exercise, women became more responsive to sexual activity. An improved sex life? I cannot think of a better way to get couples making working out a regularly shared activity.

3. It’s good for your heart in the long run.

One of the biggest risk factors of heart disease is inactivity, according to an article by The University of Maryland Medical Center. So in order to keep your heart healthy, keep exercising. Even just brisk walking or going up and down the stairs for half an hour every day will keep your heart healthy. With just 30 minutes of exercise a day, you build a better foundation for your heart to be more robust in your older and more golden days.

4. It keeps you happy.

Elle Woods really had a point. According to AbsoluteFitness.co.uk, the brain releases the following chemicals after a workout: serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and endorphins. These chemicals greatly affect mood and mainly keep you happy. These hormones also boost your immune system and reduce the risk for depression, stress and anxiety. Additionally, the beta-endorphins released after physical activity counteract the effects of pain receptors, thereby greatly reducing the influence of pain in the body.

5. It helps you sleep better.

For most of us, sleep is one thing that is always elusive in this on-the-go world. Even after having worked twelve hours in the office, when we go home, our brains are working overtime thinking of all the things we still need to do. For better sleep, exercise is the way to go. All you need is at least 30 minutes of rigorous activity to help you fall asleep faster, deeper and longer. Just don’t exercise too near to the time you sleep, to avoid your body and brain from being too energized to rest.

So break out those running shoes and find a workout that is perfect for you. With all these benefits, you can never go wrong with a couple of hours of sweat.


Pasha Lubeck is a health buff and a self-proclaimed Green freak. A single mother to two young active boys, she maintains a healthy lifestyle by exercising regularly. She also joins company sports activities at Kichler Superstore, where she works part-time.

1Mayo Clinic Staff. (2009). Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity. Retrieved June 22, 2011, from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676
2Amy Cox. (2006). Exercise: Key to good sex, good sleep. Retrieved June 22, 2011 from http://articles.cnn.com/2006-06-20/health/hb.exercise.benefits_1_regular-exercisers-nonexercise-group-exercise-sessions/2?_s=PM:HEALTH
3Exercise – Exercise’s Effects on the Heart. Retrieved June 22, 2011 from http://www.umm.edu/patiented/articles/what_effects_of_exercise_on_heart_circulation_000029_3.htm
4Psychological Benefits of Exercise. Retrieved June 22, 2011 from http://www.absolutefitness.co.uk/articles/psychological_bfits/index.htm

Oh Yes, I ROCK!

Sorry for the 2 day absence. Cray-zay shiz happening up in here lately. Other than my router going out for a whole freaking day, I have been getting my ass kicked at work. I did get the router to work. Note to self, next time just unplug the damn thing and plug it back in. Sometimes the easiest fix is the best one! The whole work thing is good because more work = more money!

You will have to wait one more day for the continuation of Chicago stories!!

I am over at Babes Rockin Mami’s place! Steph has chosen me to be one of her Women Who Rock!!

Come check me out!

Where I’ve Been….

I am still in vacation mode even though I am back to reality but my brain just isn’t ready to work yet. I have some great stories and some pictures to share from our trip to Chicago.

I also wanted to thank the lovely ladies that guest posted from me on Thursday and Friday!

Steph from Got One Past the Goalie wrote about how little girls don’t dream about being stepmothers…

Charlotte from My Pixie Blog wrote about the anxiety of blogging about significant others.

Please make sure to stop by and give them some love!

My Pixie Blog

I am so excited to introduce you to Charlotte, one of my favorite single ladies and bloggers. Her blog is full of stories about her dating experiences and her travels following around the band Phish. She is also Ms. May in the Blogger Body Calendar for 2012. I hope that you will love her as much as I do!

Confessions of an Anxiety-Filled Blogger

 Before I dive into today’s post, I’d like to thank Jayme for sharing her beautiful home with me, for being such a sweet and supportive presence in this community, and for always welcoming me with open arms. I am truly honored you have asked me to guest post and I hope to do right by you today.

 I decided to write this one a bit differently. I’ve opted to go the old-fashioned route and am writing from my bed with pen and paper the way I did when I spilled my crushes to my diary many moons ago (note to self: find and burn journal).

 Recently I attended my very first Tweet-Up with some fabulous NYC dating bloggers. It was refreshing to be in the company of so many people who truly understood the challenges of writing a blog while trying to swim in the dating pool. I listened to how they told significant others about their own writing projects and was disheartened to hear that not all of their blogs were well received.

I’m terrified that my romantic relationships will suffer the same fate. I didn’t have to worry about this when I was recapping some of my steamier exploits in the bedroom. But now that my search has taken a different turn, I wonder and worry about whether or not I can properly balance blog and boyfriend.

 What happens when someone else steps in? When it’s not just me and my blog anymore? Will I be able to sustain a healthy relationship or will this side project get in the way of my own happily ever after? As much fun as I’ve had dishing the dirt of my sex life, I finally feel ready to have a mister in my life. No shadow. No doubt. No reservations. I’d like a plus one for a wedding invitation and wouldn’t mind an extra toothbrush next to the bathroom sink.

 It has been nearly eight years since I’ve had anything that closely resembles that honeymoon phase of a new relationship. And I am finally ready to let one back into my life once again.

 Life was a lot less complicated when it was just me and my journal.

Got One Past The Goalie

I want to welcome Steph  from Got One Past The Goalie to my little corner of the blogiverse. Steph and I have one major thing in common. We are stepmothers. And not only are we stepmothers, we are stepmothers that are dealing with some very difficult stepparent situations. Steph has been there for me through my little issues with Jacob and I love having her as my sounding board. Her guest post hits really close to home. It is like I could have wrote it myself. She just wrote it better.

Little girls often dream of growing up to be teachers, princesses, lawyers, veterinarians, mommies… No little girl has dreams of growing up to be a stepmother. Thinking about every childhood portrayal of stepmother, they’re always preceded by “wicked”, “evil” or some variance of negativity. Truth is, more and more families consist of having stepmothers. And even more truthful, it is the MOST difficult role ever. It is truly a no-win situation.

No matter what choice a stepmom makes, someone else has something to say about it.
If you treat your stepchild as your own, you’re “overstepping boundaries”.
If you treat your stepchild as someone who visits, you’re a bitch.

(Of course the kids’ feelings are paramount, but for right now, I’m only discussing the stepmother.)

The pressure of trying to tread lightly for all parties can be overwhelming and stressful. Feelings cannot always be expressed because guilt goes with it, a break can’t always be taken because it’s twisted into something negative.

When the biological mother does nothing to hide her disdain for you to their children, the amount of disgust and turmoil and resentment is magnified in further unspeakable ways.

When your stepchild is looking at you through eyes filled with thoughts from “home” that carry “that fat fucking bitch” resonating through them, after time, it becomes nearly hopeless to penetrate deep into their psyche to make a difference.  And quite honestly, it becomes exhausting more than enjoyable.  Always correcting, showing the truth.  Not that I ever expected parenting of ANY kind to be easy, I just never imagined or anticipated having someone continually sabotage a child that lives in my home and forcing negativity INTO them.

I have been a stepmother twice in my life.

I married a man once who had two children from his previous marriage. A boy and a girl.  They were 5 and 3 at the time.  I NEVER once experienced negativity from THEM.  Sure, their mom and I struggled at the beginning and had to work through some things. But, eventually and not even a really long period of time before we had a working relationship and then became friends.

The second stepmother gig for me, currently, my husband and I have been together since my stepdaughter was 3 years, 4 months old. She’s currently 7 years, 2 months.  There is ZERO improvement in that duration of time. 

I’d honestly say, it’s often worse.

Clearly, when my first marriage ended, I had had enough of a positive experience that I was willing to go through the rough stuff to get to the other side regarding biological mothers/stepmothers, a second time.

If I had to do it again, I honestly don’t know that I would have.  Those hindsight glasses are something, aren’t they?

Does that mean I don’t love my stepdaughter? Nope. Not at all.  Just means the amount of abuse, false allegations, emotional turmoil, stress, miscarriage, financial stress, chaos, double standards, my side versus your side, the continued never-ending drama…has become the point of not being able to balance the rest.

If I could have possibly imagined what evil would come into my life, we would have made alternative choices.

I love my husband and subsequently our daughter who never would have happened if I wasn’t willing to make the choice. I’m so grateful our daughter will grow up and be able to say, “My parents are still married.”

Stepmothers don’t have it easy–no matter how ideal the situation between all parents. But, especially when all parties don’t put the interests of the children first.

I’ve been fortunate enough to connect with other stepmothers online and in real life with all sorts of different relationships with their stepchildren and the biological mothers and I have learned I’m not alone in my feelings,  but it is taboo to say out loud some of the real feelings that exist when one is a stepmother. It needs to be ok to express these feelings out loud without guilt. I still maintain that children’s needs and interests are paramount. I just also recognize that if mama and/or stepmama is suffering as a result of outside sources, she also struggles to give her best to everyone in her family and sometimes, she just needs to know she’s not alone.

Little girls don’t dream of growing up to be stepmothers…