I know that many of you have been waiting to hear exactly what happened to me and my family recently. I tried not to be too vague in my facebook statuses. You all know how annoying it is when someone posts something like, “Oh whoa is me. My life sucks.” And they don’t explain anymore.
Yes, it was a little vague but I just wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, just like I haven’t been able to blog about it yet. I have talked to several friends, including Natalie who listens to my crazy life. They have helped me a lot. Sometimes it helps to talk it out. And now I need to write about it.
I don’t often talk about the issues that burden my family. Some of you who have been reading my blog forever know of our struggles with Jacob. We have a very unique situation. I am not going to go into it here but if you have the time it may help with you understanding our story. Long story short, Jacob was abused by his birth mother. He moved in with us when he was 5 and we have been trying to reverse all of the mess that she did to him for the past 6+ years.
Lately things have been better. We have all been getting along. The kids have been playing together very well. It almost felt like we were becoming the family that I have always dreamed about. We were giving Jacob his space since he is a tween after all. He seemed so much happier. Things had been going really great… Or so we thought.
Jacob started having some behavioral issues at school. He got kicked off of the safety patrol. We couldn’t figure out what was going on. We figured that maybe he was just having a bad couple of weeks. The teachers and school officials were telling us that this was his best year ever, so we were happy.
Jacob had been having a hard time getting up in the morning. He had been forgetting to set his alarm clock too and that aggravates me to no end. He is 11 and a half years old. The kid is old enough to remember these kinds of things. Heck he will be in high school in just a couple of years.
Last Monday I had enough of having to wake him up so I went in his room after I put Paige to bed to remind him to turn on his alarm clock. His room was pitch black when I opened the door yet there was a glowing light coming from Jacob’s pillow. I asked him what it was and he said it was a flashlight. Then he got up and walked over to “throw it in a bag”. My only concern was that his pillow was still glowing and I didn’t hear anything fall into the bag.
I turned back to the pillow and noticed it was still glowing so I walked over to it, lifted the pillow up and about passed out. There, under his pillow, was his former iPod Touch. I say that it was his former iPod Touch because it was taken away from him for good this past summer when he had disobeyed us for the last time with it by jumping into a pool with it in his pocket.
When I looked at the iPod closer I found that he had been texting with a girl. Of course he lied and said that he didn’t know her, which terrified me even more, but he fessed up and said it was one of his friends. I flew out of his room and ran downstairs to discuss this whole situation with Dave.
After further digging I found that he had the following accounts: Kik, Pinger, Skype, Gmail, YouTube and Twitter. He also had a Snapchat account but luckily he didn’t use it (or at least we couldn’t find any activity on it). I was not pleased. I could deal with the texting accounts because I could read the texts and they were not too bad. I could also deal with the other accounts because he mostly used them to play his online games. What I couldn’t deal with was the Twitter account.
I could deal with the Twitter account if it wasn’t for what I found on it. Vulgar language, jokes about raping yo mama, shooting his sister in the face and calling her a f***ing bitch and the cyberbullying. I just couldn’t handle that. What happened to my fun little guy who loved to play Just Dance and hang out and watch those dumb dog movies (Snowbuddies, Airbuddies, etc.) This new personna J-Dawg was not that same kid. This kid was someone ugly. Someone full of hate. That someone is living inside my child and it scares the living hell out of me.
There is so much more to this story that I need to break it up into 2 parts. In the next part I will talk about the consequences that we came up with. Our biggest concern is how do we deal with such a betrayal. The punishment had to fit the crime.
Have you ever had one of your kids betray you like this? What did/would you do?